Day 2 and I feel good...

So day 2 of juicing and I feel great!! I just hope that I am not jinxing myself here and will wake up in agony tomorrow...but I am optimistic and I am ready for the rest of this fast...with the exception of this coming Saturday....but I will get to that when it comes...

So today I was a bit tired getting out of bed...but that was because I went to sleep a bit latter than I should...but I noticed that even though I was tired and my eyes were a bit red...it was not too hard to get out of bed...20 minutes earlier than usual...and start my day...I made myself some pear apple juice...packed my lunch and was even out the door 5 minutes earlier than normal...yea buddy!!

Work was set to be my long day...all classes...no prep...a lunch meeting and 7th period ACT prep...it was not looking good...but I did it...and it went well...actually better than that...it was a good day...

By the time I got home I was not feeling the usual 4 oclock I am starving feeling and decided to make myself my first veggie juice...two carrots, two celery, one tomato, and a cucumber...well I was really excited thinking about all the nutrients that was in this drink...and about half way through it...I almost threw up...hahaha yea next time I am throwing some lemon juice or chili in there...

Once I realized that it was not the best of drinks I headed to El Super for some cheap produce...there I scored red bell peppers, yellow bell peppers and orange bell peppers...some kiwi, mango and sweet potatoes!! All that for 10 bucks...can't beat it!! I came home and diced up two tomatoes, some zucchini, and added some corn and fresh garlic...I let it all simmer for about 20 minutes and I had a yummy meal for dinner...

So here I am two days in a row...juicing...writing...and reflecting...

I feel good...I am starting to feel revived...and I had no idea that I needed to be revived from something...

Day 2 feels great and I am ready for day 3...

Today Sounds Like:

Jamming - Bob Marley

Go Faster - The Black Crowes

Changes - David Bowie

Stay Free - Black Mountain

Juice Fast Day 1

OK so aside from all the general catching up that I should be doing on here...I am going to just jump straight to the point and to today...

Today was the first day of my 10 day juice fast...for the next 10 days I will be having an array of fresh juices made from my Jack LaLanne juicer (a Christmas gift to myself) some veggies (cooked or raw) and fresh fruits. I am doing this for a number of reasons...had some eye opening health scares...I feel I am at a point that I need a good detox and well I want to see if I can set my mind into focusing on something that I really can say I have not disciplined myself in...ever. So yea, I started today with a yummy blueberry apple juice...snacked on a banana, some baby carrots, and an orange. When my work day was up and I was ready to eat any thing in the bread and cheese section of the food pyramid, I went to visit an old and dear friend. Knowing that I was fasting....she had an amazing grilled artichoke marinated in lemon and garlic waiting for me...aaaaahhhh...she was truly heaven sent at that moment (thank you Sandra)

I was able to get myself home and snack on some olives while I prepared my dinner and next juice. Dinner is veggie soup with two carrots, two celery, 1/4 of an onion, a handful of fresh green beans and half of a tomato. As it all came to a boil I prepared my next juice...one large apple and three plums...yea I will not be leaving home for the night...hahaha...and well as I wait for my soup to cool and finish up this fiber rich juice I have to say that I am pretty proud of myself.

Like I mentioned before...I have never disciplined myself when it comes to eating...sure I have been on diets that last a total of maybe a month...but those cheese fries keep calling my name and I give in...and then I crash. So now...with the help of a doctor pretty much telling me you have to do something...I am definitely making some changes. And yes this juice fast is only 10 days and is in some ways short lived...but I really see this as a jumping off point...this is going to be hard...look at me, I am not done with day 1 and I am already dreaming of mac and cheese...this is really tough...not just for my taste buds...but for my mind. This whole process is requiring so much more than just eating differently...even in this one day it has changed the way i prepare for my day...wake up...get ready and prepare for my night...I can already feel my mind exploring and taking in things a little different...hell I am sitting down right now and writing about it...writing is something that I have not done in months...

So yea...here we go...Day 1 of juicing...fasting...changing...I am excited and a little scared...but either way I am on my way...

Cheers!!

Sarah...

So I love my niece Sarah with all my heart...and this picture right here is one of the reasons why...this little girl is 2 years old going on 16! Most little kids like cell phones...and that is why toy companies have made cute..colorful..and loud cell phone toys...but Sarah does not like the toy phones...nope she wants a real one...and well yeah we can take out the battery and let her play with an old phone...but nope Sarah will look up at you and say "charge...charge"...so Sarah...this is one of the many reasons why you steal my heart!

What Sarah's Soundtrack Would Sound Like:

"Misty Mountain Hop" - Led Zeppelin

"It's My Life" - The Animals

"Cissy Strut" - The Meters

"No Rain" - Blind Melon

"Band on the Run" - Wings

"Everlasting Light" - The Black Keys

Reflection...

In the annoying opening lyric of a Staind song..."It's been a while..." ha ha just that brings back memories of a circle of friends cira 2002...but in the words of Staind...It's been a while since I have posted on here...and as I have missed this outlet of writing and much prefer it to all the writing and TPAs that consumed my time over the Spring...I like that now I not only have the time to write...but also have a lot to talk about...so get ready...wait, that's misleading as this past Spring has not been too exciting...but here it goes...

My last post reflected on the death of Nick's stepfather and as that was such a shocking and sad time it also brought life...life in new and old friendships...weekly dinners with Nick's parents and mine...and more appreciation and value of the time that we have here and with each other...

School this past semester was CRAZY...to say the least. Again full time enrolled in my Masters program and planning prom almost killed me. But I would do it again in a heartbeat. I was so fortunate to have an amazing and fun co-moderator to help plan prom with...and it was the most successful and beautiful prom that our high school has ever had. I was happy to see some of my close colleagues graduate from Whittier and complete the program...yay for them!! It was a great semester...and now I am gearing up to finish my Masters this summer and start applying to EDD programs for the coming summer...

I want to finish this up (yes I am finishing it up already, I told you it was not all that exciting...) with expressing and recognizing what great friends I have. These past few months have been filled with stress, sadness, and frustration...but they have also been equally, if not more, filled with laughter, dancing, karaoke, spa days, great food, skype, weekend getaways...and so much more! But looking back on these specific moments and incidents really have made me aware of how blessed and fortunate I am to have such wonderful people in my life. People who will text me just about every morning and tell me that they love me and miss me (Amy). Someone who would jump on a plane for a weekend trip in LA (Kristen). Someone who I can laugh with for hours and share all the real things with (Adri). Someone who loves froyo as much as me and will dance the night away with (Sara). Someone who shares the same experience with me in having our loved ones so far away and keeping each other distracted with spa days (Steph). Some one who always has a smile and a positive view (Suzy). Someone who keeps me young and spontaneous who also has such a great light (Susana). My momma at school (Cindy). My always amazingly supportive family (Stella, Richard and Tim). And of course my rock...my best friend...my soul mate...my absolute true love...NICK! I am sooooo lucky....so blessed....so honored to have all these amazing people around me....thank you...because if it were not for any of you...I am not sure how these past few months would have been...

So now that I have had the opportunity to express this gratitude...I feel so loved and great...ready to start my day!


What Today Sounds Like

"Pray Enough" - The Wood Brothers

"Heart of Gold" - Neil Young

"You're My Best Friend" - Queen

"Take Me With You" - Prince

"Waste" - Phish

"Thank You" - Led Zeppelin

15 Minutes....

I have been on pause for the past four days...some progress has been made...but mostly it has gone from pause to foggy or in a daze. Thursday of last week was a regular day...a long day at work...a good dinner with my two best friends...and Jersey Shore was about to premier. At about 11:30pm...that regular day was turned upside down...inside out...and kicked to the moon. A frantic phone call... speeding away...lights....sirens...paramedics...firefighters....crying....in all what seemed to be hours...it was all in 15 minutes.

In 15 minutes a woman lost her true love...in 15 minutes a son lost a father figure...in 15 minutes a person who was was always there....always...was there no more. In 15 minutes...15 minutes...Rogelio Rodriguez was gone. Tears, hugs, phone calls, and deep sighs took up the rest of that night and early morning. By the time I was able to go home and lay my head on my pillow the sun was beginning to creep up.

Waking up the next morning with such a weight on my chest I kept thinking about those 15 minutes. Those 15 minutes that have already changed so much, that have already turned this day upside down and inside out...those 15 minutes that will forever be etched into my mind. Like flashes, scenes from the night before take over my mind. I literally have to squeeze my eyes shut in order to dismiss them. The flashes cease but the tears take their place. Sadness can truly weigh a ton.

As the day goes I look at those around me...so heavy...so lost. The day is like sitting on a merry go round, we laugh and smile one minute and then have those silent moments where the tears fall quietly down our cheeks.

They always say that at a time of a person's death, that is the time that you should celebrate their life. And I do find this to be true...I guess you just wish the person was there to celebrate with you...and that is what makes it so hard...the grief comes when you think about all those times that you did not celebrate...the time you just gave a quick hug instead of a real hug...the time you just waved as you walked into the door...the time you didn't take to sit down and have a conversation...and then you always think about the last time...the last time you saw them...what you said...what you didn't say...mostly what you wished you would have said and done....all this leads to those tears...to the sadness...the daze...

So this is where I am...the days have been getting better...but that daze...that grief...that sadness...it is still lingering. Watching people you love struck with grief and have sadness in their eyes is so hard...so sad...the trauma of watching a person slip away before your eyes does not leave your mind...knowing that a person is gone forever is just...I don't know...


What Today Sounds Like:

"Shine on You Crazy Diamond" Parts VI-XI - Pink Floyd

"These Arms of Mine" - Otis Redding

"Wish You Were Here" - Pink Floyd

"Bulletproof...Wish I Was" - Radiohead

"Had to Cry Today" - Blind Faith

"What a Wonderful World" - Louis Armstrong

Dreaming of Seattle...

Not too long ago I would hop on a plane or take a twenty hour drive up the 5 to Seattle and man, do I miss those days.  I would walk around Pike's Market and window shop...I would get a slice of pizza in Pioneer Square...and I would sit and visit with Jimi Hendrix (well his grave).  I walked in the rain and sat in the sun off Lake Washington.  There is really only one word to describe Seattle and that is MAGIC!

My Favorite Magic Store in Pioneer Square on the Right

When I was nine years old I remember laying out on our old worn out gold shag carpet and in a spiral notebook that I had I wrote out my life, well my life the way I hoped it would turn out.  At the age of eighteen I was on my way to Seattle, well according to this plan.  So nine years later you would think that I would have been filling out applications to Seattle University or University of Washington...nope...that didn't exactly happen.  As a matter of fact my first pilgrimage to Seattle did not take place until I was twenty years old.  I remember I was there for about five days and every day I would take a bus into a different part of town.  I went into the U District one day, even got off and went on a campus tour of University of Washington.  I went into Bellevue the next day...even made my way to the outskirts of Everette.  My first time in the city I felt like I belonged there, I had this sense of direction and this feeling of safety - that I wasn't a tourist, it was like I was home.

Every year I made my way up there, even if it were just for a night or five, Seattle seemed to have this hold on me, it is almost like it called out for me.

The last year that I was there that feeling became different.  I was on my annual visit but I noticed that things didn't look as green, that the streets were a little more desolate, and the music scene was not the way I had left it from the year before.  The bar I usually went to in Pioneer Square to see live bands was now a club.  In fact most of the bars there had been converted into clubs.  My pizza place was closed and the people on the streets just seemed so different.  For the first time I really felt out of place.  I thought about it for a while and I thought about what my initial pull was to the city, and I figured out it was Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Singles, Alice in Chains and Soundgarden.  Well, Kurt Cobain and Layne Staley were dead, Soundgarden was broken up and Pearl Jam hadn't put out an album in some time.  Could it be that the "magic" was now gone?

For some time I felt that way.  I stopped making my yearly trip, the last time I was there was back in 2007.  But lately, and I am sure that it has a lot to do with the non-stop rain we have experienced lately, I have felt that pull...that call from Seattle.  It seems to be growing stronger on a daily basis and I am pretty sure that I will be back in my old town within the next six months.  I just hope that some of the magic has returned, whether it needed to be reignited in the city itself or it needed to come from me, I just want to walk in Pioneer Square...have some pizza and just promise that "We will always go out dancing!"

Pioneer Square

What Today Sounds Like:

"Hey, Hey, Hey" - 4 Non Blondes

"Nearly Lost You" - Screaming Trees

"State Love and Trust" - Pearl Jam

"Oh Me" (Unplugged) - Nirvana

"Revenge" - Danger Mouse and Sparkle Horse

"Thorn in My Pride" - The Black Crowes

"Soul One" - Blind Melon

Ready to Go...

Since New Years Day fell on a Saturday it did not seem like that was the actual day to start all those life changing tasks you lay out in your resolution lists...it seems that the infamous Monday, which in this case will be the 3rd, is the day to get your goals aligned.  I could not imagine starting to to work out, eat better and all the many things that have made their way onto my resolution list on a Saturday...no way!  So like many others out there I am sure, I decided to go with good ole Monday...and I feel good about that. 

So today was the last day, the last day before I jump-start a healthy lifestyle for myself.  I seriously thought I was going to spend the day eating chili cheese fries and bacon wrapped hot dogs, drink a 2 liter of Coca Cola, make cupcakes and all that good stuff...instead I enjoyed a nice meal, a steak, with some good friends...I also ran some errands, got some vitamins and good food for the week and filled my gas tank so I wouldn't have to do it in the morning before work.  I am home at 9pm which is the earliest I have been home this whole holiday season, and I am doing laundry.  So what could have been an extremely gluttonous day, and completely justified for that matter, I was actually responsible.  Eeek, I think this year so far is presenting itself to be a bit mature! 

As I sit here and think about what tomorrow is going to be like...

Will the girls be attentive (no way), will I be attentive (after 9am), will I actually get up at 5:30 to get on the treadmill (I hope so) and will I remember to take my vitamins in the morning (I placed them in an obvious spot...right next to my keys)

I still find myself with the lingering optimism that seems to be affecting most of those around me and I am happy for both.  There seems to be a mystique this new year. I find that people are happy, excited, hopeful, and well just plain nice!  So I hope this continues...I hope that it will only get better...it only can right, it's not even Monday!

My new morning regimen!! 

I think this is going to be the last of my looking at the new year and commentating on that...So get ready...


What Today Sounds Like:
 
"Wake Up" - Mad Season

"Time for Livin" - The Beastie Boys

"We're Going to Be Friends" - White Stripes

"Pray Enough" - The Wood Brothers

"Rise" - Eddie Vedder

"Three Little Birds" - Bob Marley

"Cissy Strut" - The Meters








 

 

1-1-11...Like starting from the beginning....

What a beautiful day to kick start what seems to be in everyone's eyes a brand new year with great opportunity ahead!  Sometimes when I wake up on New Years day I really feel no sense of change, it is just another day or another day closer to returning to work and well I have to admit, waking up this morning I really felt a change.  The air was crisp and clean (well as clean as you can get in LA) and the skies were blue and I really felt this sense of a new day...a new beginning.

So now I sit back and wonder if the rest of 2011 is going to feel this way...the real test will be Monday morning when I wake up at 6am to embark on my first day back to work in two weeks.  Call me optimistic or just plain stupid but I have a feeling that this feeling of freshness...this invitation that a new year brings is going to linger for some time...and I hope that I will take the time to invest in this feeling...that I will work to create some positive change and that I take the time to see that 2011 really is a fresh year, "with no mistakes in it yet" therefore the possibilities right now are endless!

What Today Sounds Like:

"Across the Universe" - The Beatles

"In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" - The Allman Brothers Band

"Wiser Time" - The Black Crowes

"Freedom" - Jimi Hendrix

"It's My Life" - The Animals

"Young Americans" - David Bowie

"Nantes" - Beirut